It may be obvious to you by now that the month of November, and NaNoWriMo, is over. And I can assure you that if I had completed a novel in the span of a month, you would also know about that. But, alas, it was not to be. I gave it a go, for about a week and a half, before I realized how hard it was. Not writing the novel itself (that was easy as I’ll explain later) but finding the time to write. 2600 words a day is a shitload when you have a life. By the time I would get off work, go to the gym, eat dinner, put daughter to bed, and get ready for the next day with lunches and showering, etc, I was tired. And the last thing I would want to do is sit down at the computer for two or three hours and write. So, I didn’t. Not really a hard decision to make. As for the story itself, I haven’t touched it since the middle of November. But not for lack of a story. I got up to ten thousand words and I know exactly where the story is going and ending. While writing for NaNo I felt rushed and as if I had tunnel vision. It just felt like the story wasn’t being written the right way. I can’t explain it any better than that. So for now I’ve let it be. For those that are interested it tells of Eddie’s younger days and what happened to him during Katrina. I realized as I wrote Hi Strangeness that Eddie loved homes. Not houses but homes. With warmth and love and family and all that. And I wanted to know why. And now he’s begun telling me about it. It may take a while as it was a difficult time for him but I think he’ll be okay.
On another note that is related to the above note in some way that will become apparent during the next part of this sentence: I received my first royalty check. Amazon sends them out when your total royalties reach ten dollars so that means that since January of 2010 I have made a grand total of $10.42 in royalties from sales of A Bump in The Night and Strangeness.
And here’s me, no Mo’!
You don’t have to do it to make me famous but donations to the Movember movement would be appreciated. They’re tax deductible and assist to raise awareness to an important issue facing someone you know (if you know any Dudes then I can promise you at least one will have a prostate or testicles, which puts them at risk to cancer of both). Sponsor my Mo by following this linkum and typing in my name, Nakia Johnson. As far as I know I’m the only Nakia Johnson on there so the result you see will be me. Or check out the movement @ Movember.com. Thanks!
Alright, this is kind of ridiculous but it’s also pretty freakin’ awesome. To go along with my adventures in NaNoWriMo I’ve decided to participate in Movember. Basically because I have nothing better to do than re-grow a mustache. All of you skydivers out there will understand. If you’re a dude (or a hairy-ass lady) join me in growing a ‘stache for prostate cancer awareness. As an added bonus, at the end of the month there will be a kick-ass party in a city near you. If you think you’ll look stupid by shaving an existing mustache (or growing one out) don’t worry. Just think of all the good-looking folks of the opposite sex who know you now and how interested they’ll be to find out why you look so strange. Score!
Here’s the Mo’ befoe…
The countdown began while ago and now the end (or the beginning) draws near. Only one more day til NaNoWriMo starts. I have to be honest here, I’m kinda stressing out. I’m not really worried about failing, believe me I’ve failed at plenty of things, but I am worried about failing. Get it? It’s hard to explain but starting a novel is easy. It’s the finishing that’s the killer. And I’ve always gone by the maxim of ‘If it’s not finished, it’s not a story’. It used to be ‘If it’s not published, it’s not a story” but I have to be realistic. As for the story itself, I had fully intended to cheat. That’s right, I’m not above cheating to get a free copy of my book. But right before I stomped on Jiminy Cricket he said something interesting. It had something to do with why in the world an elderly, single man would want a real boy. Oh, and he said that cheaters never win (Whatever that means, Ohio State). So, I’m going to take the opportunity to go back into the history of Eddie Fisk and explain exactly what happened during Katrina that made him quit the NOPD. Maybe I’ll touch on why he feels the need to have a home of his own regardless of what condition it’s in but that really depends on if Eddie wants to share with me. It’s a touchy subject with him.
Hi Again is still out there, too. I haven’t done too much work on it but I am thinking it over everyday. The beginning will totally ruin the ending of Hi Strangeness for those who haven’t read it yet (I’m looking at you, most of the world) so, until it hits the NY Times bestseller list, I won’t be posting any of it. Sorry. Now, Qüichrbichn and go buy Strangeness.
There comes a time in a man’s life when he’s gotta do what he’s gotta do. No, I’m not talking about going out for a pack of cigarettes or a gallon of milk. I’m not even talking about the Porsche 911 that wife says I can buy when I pay off my Jeep (AKA the Triumph Daytona 675 that I’ll be buying instead). I’m talking about the next chapter in the saga that is the life and times of Edward H. Fisk, that brilliant New Orleans private eye who rose to fame in the best-selling novel Hi Strangeness. Okay, so maybe it isn’t best-selling but a couple of people have bought it*. I have been cruising along waiting for NaNoWriMo so that I can continue with Eddie but the suspense is killing me. I’m weird that way. Most folks know me as someone who can change hobbies in a heartbeat. Maybe it’s OCD or maybe I just want to experience as much as possible before I cash out. What folks don’t know about though, is The Itch. It starts off as a thought which quickly progresses to an obsession. At that point I usually give in and pick a new hobby. Or continue on with an old one. Whether it be building a scale model, getting back on my mountain bike, beginning to homebrew or playing Half-Life 2 again. And this time it’s writing. I thought I could take what I was calling Hi Flyer and use it as a jumping off point for NaNoWriMo but I can’t wait. Thinking about it has let the story develop in my head and I feel the need. The need to write some shit down. My mental perusement has led me to believe I can take dead LARP vampires and a missing homeless man and write another novel in which our intrepid, lock-picking P.I. comes to the rescue. Along with the new novel comes a name change: Hi Again. And not just because it’s Eddie Fisk again either. I have another ace up my sleeve that will (hopefully) rival the ending of Strangeness. Interested? Good. Cheer me on silently, or curse me out loud I don’t care. Either way, I’m writing again.
*For the folks that have bought the book or even just repeatedly found their way back to NDJohnson.net, Thank You. From the bottom of my heart, Thank You. I never started this to be famous, obviously, but the simple fact that something I have written means enough to you that you read it makes me feel as if I’ve succeeded.
Posted in Writing
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Tagged Thanks Again
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Okay, now this is just getting ridiculous. I made fun of Market Garden Brewery and God proved, by striking my house with lightning, that He doesn’t like ugly. So, I apologized. I gave God the benefit of the doubt and conceded that He probably knows more about beer than I do. And I thought that would make it all better. But know He’s just being mean. I mean, come on! A tornado?! WTF?! There I was all snug in my bed when whoosh! holy terror is unleashed upon my neighborhood. Out of my window I could see the trees bent in half and because my window was open I could hear the train a-coming. If you’ve ever been to New York and ridden the subway the sound of the trains going in and out of the stations is what it sounded like. Add to that the crazy lightning (like the flashes you see at sporting events when someone is about to do something special) and the sound of trees falling and it’s easy to see why it was a wild night. I’ll admit that I spent some of the storm huddled in a corner, certain that one of the ridiculously tall trees in my backyard was going to fall on my house and kill me. And then I realized I was sitting with my back to an electrical outlet. In the middle of all the lightning going off. Because I’m a genius.
*Don’t worry about wife and daughter. Wife is still alive (although mad that I didn’t check to make sure she was okay during the storm) and daughter was in PIT visiting my ‘Rents (who had their own big-ass storm). Our house is cool, too. One of our trees smashed our neighbors woodpile (which I re-stacked) and our yard is full of branches and leaves. Also, we have power. We were blessed to come through this okay (so maybe God isn’t as mad at me as I think He is). And as an FYI if you watch the video linked above: The tornado (confirmed as an EF-1) passed through the Ranch Drive neighborhood that’s mentioned and that’s the next street over from us, less than a quarter mile away. Blessed indeed.
I think I may have pissed God off. Apparently, He is a fan of the Market Garden Brewery and didn’t appreciate what I had to say about His favorite beer spot. On last Saturday I was snug in my bed when I was awakened by the sounds of an approaching thunder storm. No big deal. I sleep with the window open just so I can listen to the crickets and frogs and cicadas and raccoons and owls and creepy night time things out here in the country. And that includes storms. I don’t know if it’s global warming or just being in this part of NE Ohio but the storms here are wicked. So wicked in fact that, as I lay in my bed watching the lighting flashes and listening to the thunder and rain, I was damn near blinded by a very bright light. To experience what I saw, take a camera, turn on the flash, hold the flash up to your eye and take a picture. Yeah, that’s right, my house got struck by lightning. Dammit! No fire followed, thankfully, but the damage is ridiculous. First off, the kegerator is okay. The air conditioner is not however. The circuit board and blower motor are both dead. As is the blackened thermostat (that was a week old), the furnace, the garage door opener, three outlets in our extra bedroom and one in daughter’s room. And one of our well pump fuses literally exploded, scorching the inside of the fuse box and shooting glass onto the garage floor. Lightning also struck a tree that stands about ten feet from our house, and exploded wood chunks were flung over the house to the other side. But we are all okay so maybe God isn’t so mad after all. Or maybe He has proved his point as just a couple nights ago there was another storm and every time the sky lit up I winced and shut my eyes. So I’m sorry Market Garden Brewery. The King of Kings says your shit beer is not so bad and compared to getting crucified, an overcooked burger served by an average size man with small hands is nothing to get worked up about.
*My only other experience with a house getting struck by lightning happened when I was growing up in the old country (North Carolina). My mom, grandmother, sister and I were eating dinner when a storm rolled in. My grandmother immediately made all of us put our metal silverware down and we had to continue the meal using plastic utensils. A few minutes later we heard sirens and looking outside saw that a neighbors house had caught on fire. My mom went over to see if they were okay and came back to tell us that their house was struck by lightning. My grandmother’s response? “They were probably using metal silverware!”
I think I’ve mentioned many times here and in public that I am not an expert on anything. I do my job well enough to get paid, my homebrew is liquid when I drink it so I consider that a win and so far I have not killed my child by doing something ridiculously stupid. Likewise, I am not a foodie or a drinkie(?). I only know if something tastes good to me. And I recently discovered something that does not taste good to me. A group of friends and I made our way to the new Market Garden Brewery in Ohio City last night for a night of imbibing and laughing and eating. Here’s my two word review for MGB: DON’T GO! It pretty much sucks all around. I had extremely high hopes considering that the brewmaster was once the brewmaster of Dogfish Head and Great Lakes. I started off with the sampler; six beers that you choose, served to you in little glasses on a piece of wood. Four of my samples went back. The two that I was able to drink were the Black Hops IPA and the Cluster Fuggle IPA. Both of these brews had wonderful aromas and mouthfeel although the taste itself was lacking. The Black Hops did bitter up my tongue quite nicely but both beers tasted bland, almost as if a hop extract was used to create the aroma. The other four beers – Forest City Brown Ale, Pearl St. Wheat, Tarte Blanche Blond Ale and some brew named after Vikings (that obviously left a huge impression on me) – ranged in taste from dirty dishrag to sour cream to butt. And that’s not an exaggeration, they actually have a beer that tastes just like carbonated sour cream! Needless to say I won’t be going back for the beer. Or the food. We spent two hours at MGB and my cousin and I received our overcooked cheeseburgers just about one hour and twenty five minutes in. This is in a dining area that had people at maybe three other tables. Service obviously isn’t MGB’s strong suit. What was impressive about this place was it’s location, which we took full advantage of. It’s conveniently situated right across the street from Great Lakes Brewing, which is where we finished the night.
Posted in Random
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Tagged brew education
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I’m officially certifiable. I would blame the alcohol but this has been building longer than it takes me to drain a pint. No one saw it coming but they had to have known it would happen. I signed up for NaNoWriMo. As if a job, a wife, a three year-old (four by the time WriMo starts), homebrewing and general awesomeness weren’t enough to keep me busy, I’ve decided to join the masses and write a 50,000 word novel in one month. November to be exact. I figured ‘What the hell, if I don’t try I’ll never know if I can do it.’ This may end in tears seeing as how it took me seven years to write my short story A Bump in the Night and two years (I think?) to write Strangeness ( both of which are available here for purchase). So wish me luck. And if you forget to, believe me when I say I WILL remind you often that well wishes are appreciated.
